Getting work done is almost entirely about managing one’s own psychology. It’s always true throughout the development of any long-term project, but perhaps even more true when one is getting closer to the finish line; You have to maintain a state of mind where productive work is possible before any work can get done.
Recently, I’ve been feeling a bit depressed, both because of the protracted amount of time the endgame design is taking, and the slow dawning realization that the runway is getting shorter and I soon will have to, to a certain extent, abandon this project. I don’t mean to suggest that I’m giving up, but instead that no project of this magnitude is ever truly finished, it is just abandoned, and perhaps released on Steam at the same time.
It’s an interesting thing, since I should probably feel proud of how the game has come along. I have had several playtesters talk with me at length about how much they enjoyed the game, even in its various incomplete forms. As the game takes a more developed shape, these conversations have become more frequent. However, Taiji will always exist for me more as an idea than an actual thing I’ve created. An aspiration and a hope more than an artifact.
In that sense, I am disappointed in the game and I see myself as a failure. I have seen infinite potential and I have only managed to grasp at what I could reach. The limitations of both my ability and my time creep up on me as the project approaches something like a finish line. I still want so much more for it, but it isn’t practical to keep working on it forever.
With that said, there’s still runway left.