10. Still Sicking After All These Years

Nothing really much to report other than it turned out my hopes of getting better were a bit premature. I never did go to a doctor, as I am poor, but I believe it was strep and as of writing this I am maybe 90% better. So hopefully this upcoming week will have more productivity and less laying around letting my body drain out fluids and trying not to die.

9. Sick Days

Unfortunately this week I have been down with a terrible flu that left me mostly delirious and unable to work. I’m starting to recover a bit now though so that’s good.

Also somewhat irritated by the lack of version parity between the Windows and Linux version of Unity, as well as Unity’s seeming indifference to this. Right now, you can get the latest beta version of Unity on both Linux and Windows, but not the latest stable? What? This leaves me unable to work on the game on my laptop because the project will not load.

Sometimes streaming the game does actually help with my productivity because it’s a scheduled thing that I have to show up for. I’m trying to work on feeling accountable to my own self for showing up to work on the game on time, but it’s not always easy to do that.

6. The Trough of Unproductivity

Actually a bit late with this week’s post. Some life things happened and I forgot to write it Friday.

Still, I managed to go another week without opening Unity or working on the game. That’s a bit or a bummer, but because my productivity and my mood are so directly connected, I’m trying not to feel too badly about it. If I beat myself up for not being productive, I’m just taking away energy that could be used for productive things.

So, in some ways this week was disappointing, but my overall mood seems to be improving so we will see how it goes. Plus, I made a commitment to do weekly updates here, even if I am just showing up to say that I didn’t do anything.

I have still been thinking about the interface issues with the game, and struggling to come to a good solution. I know it can’t stay the way it is, as it just doesn’t feel very good. But I’m not sure what exactly to do instead. I feel like it’s quite late to make a major decision like this, but I am also not sure I know yet how to make it properly. I will either end up having to try something even if I’m not much more sure of it than the current interface, or I will have to just shelve this question and proceed anyway.

I try to catch myself when I see that I am being unproductive and in the analysis paralysis type mindset. But this is hard because I really have no good idea on how to proceed.


5. Minor Setbacks

This week has been unfortunately somewhat unproductive on the game. I suppose I could call it a mental health break. I have been having a real hard time emotionally and with some difficult interpersonal stuff happening, I just found myself not in the mood to get any work done.

I suppose this would be a good time to being up my thoughts on mental health as it relates to game development. Steve Swink said in a recent devlog update for Scale that “…the actual most important skill is for a game designer is mental state management. Not tuning, balance, or the ability to design clever puzzles. The most important skill is the ability to consistently put yourself into a state where good, productive work gets done.”

I couldn’t agree more. I also feel like many developers underestimate how difficult this is to do. Especially, I think, as an independent developer it’s easy to feel the pressure or lose faith in yourself. You’re literally the one who has to do it. It is not like being on a big team where if you can’t do it, someone else can probably take your place.

This also means that development can slow down drastically if you have a bad week or suffer from mental health issues like I do.

Anyway, I don’t want anyone to be overly concerned about me. I have felt this way before, and I should be able to pull out of it again. Admittedly I have been feeling worse than I have in close to ten years, but I’m still here.

This devlog is probably getting too personal, but I would like to take a second to thank my close friend Amber for being very supportive and understanding of me the past couple weeks. I know I can be a huge emotional drain at times like these. So thanks.

So, anyway. What did get done?

I streamed some puzzle design last weekend, working more on the “edge” based puzzles. The ones that care about whether neighboring tiles are the same or not. Got a couple more interesting puzzles there. I am still not sure how to introduce that mechanic in a clean way, but I suppose the common wisdom is to do tutorials last. I think it’s probably again a mental state thing where I’m just psyching myself out because I just got to a point with the dice face puzzles where there’s a strong introduction of the mechanics that feels really clean. So, jumping back into the early stage on another mechanic, although necessary, feels like a step back in terms of my mental clarity about the subject.

Hope to be in a more productive place next week.

I’ll belay the screenshot for this week, but here’s something interesting I saw in the real world: